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Survival? I’m The Guy To Talk To

It seems many of you other animals over-complicate your defense.

We Know to go to Bed

Why should I go to bed? You know what I mean, right? I don't want to go to …

My Job Is To Save Lives

You can count on my expert training to help when things get dangerous.

I Hate General Tso

General Tso's a popular dish in Chinese restaurants. That means more dead chickens.

Bulimia - One Owl’s Battle

I know sticking talons down my beak is wrong but I can’t help myself.

Anyone take my bread?

I swore that I just had it. Right in front of me.

My View On Parenting

No better way to teach your kid not to fly into a window than letting him do it. …

Red Meat is Not So Bad For You

Why gnaw on dried-out chicken when you can sink your teeth into a juicy steak?

I Am a Victim of Prejudice

Why don’t they just come out and say only doves need apply?

Pigeon Want Hot Dog !

Hotdog, piece of hotdog! I see it! I see it! Peckity-peck-peck.

An Open Letter To Rabbits Concerning Easter

Easter is around the corner and that means one thing - you'll be stealing our eggs.

Turduckens: A Trip Down A Bad Road

It is the height of culinary recklessness. We need to nip it in the bud while we still …

Message From The Falcon’s Mascot

Not just the Altanta Falcons but falcons in general don't support what Mr. Vick did.

Close Down The Bird Baths!

It’s not the sixties anymore. What was once a relatively safe practice is no longer so...

Don Imus’ Parrot Apologizes

I have repeated a lot of things I shouldn't have. I am sorry...

I Should’ve Never Crossed That Road

One casual stroll across an interstate and now I’m in every joke book in America.

Next Time Don’t Call It Bird Flu

Hey, Center For Disease Control - nobody wants a disease named after them!

I’m Quitting The Magic Act

The Amazing Stephan can kiss my lily-white tail feathers. I quit!

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