Animal Internet

I was one of the original partners here on Animal Internet.  Now I am not.  They kicked me out.  “Scat,” I believe was the word they used.  Why?  Because of my addiction to catnip.

There were three initial partners: Casey (a dog and the site’s current CEO), Whiskers (a polar bear in charge of Marketing) and myself.  The three of us met every day to iron out issues ranging from ownership of submitted material to what the site’s posting policy should be.  It was a lot of work but we all knew our long days would eventually be rewarded.  We were building a company.  It was supposed to be hard.

To make a long story short, I began to spend more and more time outside “making sure there weren"t any mice spying on us.” Deadlines approached and the others were forced to do a lot my work for me.  I clearly was not holding up my end of the partnership.  They give me “the talk" and I nodded, promised I’d straighten up..you all know how the song goes.  I wasn’t ready to hear.  Why are they constantly complaining about things not getting done when they could be spending all that time GETTING work done? Besides, this was none of their business!  What does a dumb polar bear know about how cats work? Who cares what a stupid polar bear thinks?  They"re not even smart enough to come in from the cold.  The hell with them.  There was a lot of arguing and then I vaguely remember heading into the garden to "check for mice."

I woke up the next morning in some alley I didn’t recognize.  A bunch of Toms had beaten me up, taken my collar and left me for dead.  Here’s how I know I had hit bottom - my first thought was “I got eight lives left.  I might as well get some nip.”

But then I thought about it.  Really gave it some thought.  I had a front row seat to something exciting and I lost it.  All because of the nip.

I am a nipoholic.  Covered in fleas.  Alone.  Ashamed. I hope this confession is my first step to recover.