I Prefer Getting Hit By GM Vehicles
Being a deer, I’ve been hit by a lot of different motor vehicles. Mid-engine sports cars to heavy duty diesel trucks, you name it and chances are I’ve been hit by one. In the SUV class, I like the 2008 GMC Yukon Hybrid the best. It’s not the most stylish SUV hybrid on the road nor the lowest in gas mileage but when it comes time to get hit, it’s my number one choice.
The Yukon has a 6 liter V8 Vortec engine that cranks out 332 horsepower and 367 pounds per foot torque. That’s a lot of truck for a mammal skeleton to handle. When you’re hit by the Yukon’s 6000 pounds, you can feel the solid construction. The 9 plus inches of ground clearance allow you to look under the frame and admire the front end’s wishbone suspension while you’re being dragged down the road. You rarely see quality like this on an American vehicle. I was once broad-sided by a Dodge Durango and it almost tickled in comparison.
Standard equipment includes dual-zone climate controls, passenger sensing airbags and Proactive Roll Avoidance. Of course all this will appeal only to those lucky enough to ride on the inside. I travel on the roof most of the time so I was thrilled to see that GM included luggage racks and side rails as standard. Knowing my ropes are tied to factory installed luggage rails makes me feel safer. When you’ve just been in an accident, touches that make you feel safe quickly add up. And let’s not forget that it’s a hybrid. Being hit by one of these babies is better for the environment.
If you’re going be hit by a car, try to make it a 2008 Yukon Hybrid. You won’t be sorry.
Comments (4)
Dear Donald: You do not sound well to me, no, not at all. Are you having a mental misadventure of some sort? Why would anyone who was not totally non compos mentis praise the details of some monstrosity that was eviscerating him? The humor here must be so sere it has flaked off the page. I can send you the name of a good feline psychiatrist whom we would recommend very highly.(Do you speak felinese?) Meanwhile, perhaps you’d better just stay in your part of the woods- safer that way.
Donald, I have to agree with Lucyy, There is something desperately wrong with a deer that actually prefers to be hit by one vehicle over another. Do you think you are a cat with 9 lives? Perhaps, you have been hit one too many times and your brain is a little scrambled. Have you had a CT or an MRI lately? Maybe, a nice psychiatrist with some happy pills will do the trick. You’re not traveling on both tracks here Donald - you need help.
I have never attended classes in psychiatry but, yep, there certainly is something amiss here. Take Lucy’s advice, stay in the woods and don’t get tempted to have contact with any metal monster, Yukon, Durango or anything else.
As one who has been hit by boats, I have to agree with all of the above....avoid motorized things at all costs!