Neutered And Proud Of It!
I used to growl at the TV whenever THE PRICE IS RIGHT came on. Who was Bob Barker to decide which body parts I no longer needed? Maybe HE no longer uses his downtown plumbing but I sure do. Poor Bob. Must be hard to hit the dance clubs when you don’t drive at night.
All these celebrities are constantly listing the reasons for neutering (decreased aggression, better concentration, fewer prostate problems, no testicular tumors...) that by the time I was 6 months old, the humans I live with were completely sold on the idea. So they packed me into the car and we headed to the vet’s office for a meeting with the knife.
I was scared. I’m not gonna lie. I started thinking about options: I could jump out the window and run away but quickly decided that living on the street wasn’t workable - I don’t know how to hunt for food and few places that carry kibble sell to dogs. Unfortunately the vet was so close there wasn’t time to think up more options.
I won’t go into the details of the surgery except to say it was surprisingly painless. I hate to admit it but those know-it-all celebrities were right! I’m now less aggressive, have better concentration and I no longer fear I’ll develop prostate problems. And you want to know the best part, what REALLY made the surgery worthwhile? I no longer have to worry about getting other dogs pregnant. I can now cruise the dog park without protection. I’m WALKING protection. Freedom! It’s the guilt-less, free-loving sixties all over again!
So, Bob (and Betty and Doris and Loretta,) I apologize. You were right about neutering.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with some ladies in the park.
Comments (1)
Darrell, I never thought neutering was a good thing, and I wonder, is it different for dogs? I think if you want to avoid making a girl pregnant, then a vasectomy is a better way to go- and what’s wrong with a condom?. Neutering is a one-way street- what if you wanted to have kids one day? Of course, you can always adopt; there are so many homeless dogs (and more homeless cats- maybe you could adopt a cat!) out there, but it’s not the same thing!