The Quality of Bad Litter Is Not Strain’d
You think your life sucks? You think you’ve got problems? Let me tell you how miserable a litter box filled with crappy litter can make life. And when I say miserable, I’m not just blowing dust, my friends.
Humans clean and refill our litterboxes. We are not really interested in listening to their complaints. Please, no crocodile tears of sympathy. It’s their job to make sure that we are comfortable and that includes getting us a decent, high-quality litter. Always. No exceptions.
So how do you think we feel, as we enter a freshly-filled liltterbox, savoring the anticipation of a sweetly comforting release into finely sifted, joyously scratch-able litter only to be forced to recoil at the feel of a badly-textured, lumpy, jaggedy, awful heap of gritty junk? How would you feel? Would that make your day? Unacceptable! Intolerable! What do humans think we are, peasants? Where’d they get this stuff, a Chinese septic tank? And then, after a few bouts with this vile compost has left us traumatized and gasping, they’ll saunter by and merrily ask us how we are feeling. You’ve got to be kidding!
The FDA is all hot-and-bothered about banning bad foods, medicines and supplies but they don’t seem to care about the misery bad litter causes us. We, the best and most noble of Earth’s animals, forced to suffer such ignominy!
There must be standards of quality put into place. Humans must be forced to get rid of these below-par bags of junk and replace them with litter of better quality. We felines deserve no less.
Comments (3)
Andy,
A bit of advice from someone who has been there—don’t use the litter box. Once the humans start finding little presents all over the house (pretend you are a dog) they will realize the litter is below standard and fall all over themselves getting you better stuff. You’ll be scratching away in that “finely sifted, joyously scratch-able litter” in no time. Trust me, it works !!!
Hmmph, I can’t believe Queen Alice is subjected to such deplorable living conditions. I may have to invite her to live with us until this is finally rectified. No feline should be subjected to such abuse from a cheap human. If they want to save money, they need to look elsewhere to pinch pennies. Next they’ll be trying to give you sub-standard food.
Andy, get your brother Charlie to file suit against your cheap human for failure to support the standard of living you have been accustomed to. It works for humans, so it should work for felines. I’d also file a complaint with the Humane Society for substandard living conditions. Your human definitely doesn’t want them knocking on your door, especially after that Michael Vick thing !!