I Take The Ozone Pledge
The UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) concludes that atmospheric temperatures are on the rise. Global warming is real.
As a cow I bear some of the responsibility. Although humans are to blame for most of the problem, we ranch animals still contribute a significant share. Twenty percent of ozone-destroying methane released into the environment each year comes directly out of our...digestive tract. Let’s put it that way.
That’s a lot of flatulence! And the majority of it is unnecessary. I can only speak for myself here but I pass as much wind as I do only because all the other cows are passing wind also. I suspect other species do the same. When in Rome...
Well, not anymore. While the humans do their part by passing more laws and stricter protocols, I’ve decided to help from a more personal angle - next week I’m going to “take the pledge” and stop passing unnecessary gas. (I’d take the pledge today but I ate some Mexican hay and I don’t want my mouth to make a promise my intestines can’t keep.)
Global warming is everyone’s problem. Join me and take the pledge. Be part of the solution.
The Ozone Pledge:
In an effort to ease global warming, I pledge (save for the occasional bout of sickness and/or consumption of beans) to refrain from the expulsion of my digestive gas.
Comments (4)
As embarassing as it my seem, I too tend to pass gas in my own glassed in environment. I usually do it while there is another occupant in the cage...mouse, frog, etc. Just to daze them before I go in for the strike. But I will take the pledge and refrain from breaking wind. It’s not like the mouse is going anywhere.
Tell Al Gore to spring for some Beano and maybe we’ll talk. Until then, I’m not pledging nothing.
My human companion is really environmentally-focused: she has a compost pile, she recycles everything, and she’s even removed our driveway and replaced it with gravel. But I don’t want her to see this article, because she’d probably stop feeding me cheese. Sorry, but I just can’t get behind (pun intended) this campaign.
I think it’s all a con to shift the blame away from where it belongs- on the US Government. I’ve got a scientific study that proves that the source of Global Worming is the hot gas flowing between Congress and the White House. Shut them both down, solve the problem!