Animal Internet

I’m an Air-Safety Consultant.  I work for the mining industry. 

With the tragic mining incidents of late, I want to assure the public that we birds working in mine safety do not take our responsibility lightly.

Don’t let these bright and well-plumed feathers fool you - I’m not just something pretty to look at.  I’m a highly trained first responder.  It’s my job to alert authorities if there’s a build up of toxic gas anywhere in the shaft.  In many cases my expert judgment is the only thing that stands between you and the cold hands of death.

I can tell the difference between getting tired from too many sunflower seeds and getting tired from methane gas.  Can you?  No offense, but I doubt it.  Not unless you’ve been through the extensive training programs that I have. Nor can you probably differentiate between the benign flatulence of a miner and the deadly buildup of carbon monoxide.  Again, I can.

I have nothing against all you birds out there who spend your days going back and forth between sunning yourselves and tapping on shiny bells.  Hey, if that’s how they wish to spend your life, what business do I have telling you not to?

Just don’t expect me to join you anytime soon.  If you want to find me, I’l be at work.  Protecting lives.