Sarah Palin Shot At Me
Sarah Palin shot at me and missed. That’s really all I have to say on the matter.
You can read the full details in the Wasilla police report but I’ll warn you now, if you’re searching for some juicy tidbit to make her look bad you won’t find it. It was just your standard hunting encounter: She shot, I ran. End of story.
Look, it’s clear you reporters want me to say bad things about her but I’m not gonna besmirch Ms. Palin simply because she shot at me. This is Alaska. Everybody gets shot at. If you don’t like it than move someplace less rural where firearms aren’t part of the culture. Like New York or Washington D.C. Okay, bad examples. My point is, up here humans kill animals and animals kill humans. It’s the Circle of Life. The only difference is that up here it’s colder and sometimes the bullets come from helicopters.
She’s not a great shot. There. Is that the quote you’re looking for to get traffic to your blog tonight? Fine. Go ahead and quote me. Now leave me alone. Remember what we learned from Mr. Cheney though - being a bad shot doesn’t disqualify you for V.P. Okay, hold on. There is one thing in the police report that I should probably tell you about. Just so you don’t “discover” it and think I was trying to hide something from the press. I said I overheard Ms. Palin warning her daughter to be careful when playing with things that are loaded because they could shoot off accidently. At the time we didn’t know what we know now so I assumed she was talking about firearms. In any case, the conversation was private and none of our business.
Why don’t you guys stop beating around the bush and ask me straight out: Will I be voting for Ms. Palin? Should Mr. McCain die of old age in his sleep, do I believe Ms. Palin, an adamant pro-lifer who tried to take my life, is competent enough to take the reins?
The answer is yes. I will be voting for McCain / Palin.
This election is about 2 things - energy and keeping us safe. Ms. Palin wants to open up Alaska to drilling and the way I see it, the more pipelines filled with explosive liquids, the less humans will be allowed to shoot guns. I get my energy and safety needs met in one fell swoop. The Greenpeace folks say drilling will mess up the land but not any worse than having windmills on every corner. Those things are loud! We wouldn’t be able to hear the helicopters coming to shoot us. And despite the rhetoric, going solar won’t be nearly as “passive” as the Obama camp will have you believe. Whose gonna keep the solar panels clean? An army of workers trampling through the woods with squeezgies and buckets of Windex. that’s who. A Windex spill in the bay is not good for the environment either.
Ms. Palin shot at me, yes, but I believe her miss was divine intervention. I was kept alive so I can vote for her for Vice President.
Comments (1)
Koho, Koho, poor Koho! Sarah Pailin did shoot at you, but she didn’t miss; she hit you right in your brain. How else to explain why a victim of murder would apologize for his killer? Remember, this loony-toons rightwing nutcase Palin was the cretin who pushed through the aerial slaughter of wolves in Alaska. She wants to fill her state with a big puddle of dead animal blood- it’ll contrast with all the oil spills. Guess McPain has picked a winner!