Weight Loss Is Contagious?
I have a BMI of 76. That puts me in the category of morbidly obese. I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you, (I ate all the sugar anyway) my chances of dying of a heart attack are 3 times greater than that of a fruit fly.
Now I read in the New England Journal of Medicine that my weight gain is probably because most of my friends are elephants. A just released Harvard study concluded that obesity is contagious. “You are what you eat isn’t the end of the story," claims James Flowler, one of the authors. "You are what you AND YOUR FRIENDS eat!”
Wow. Of course! When I read that it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Makes total sense - birds are small because they hang with others who eat like birds. I’m hanging with dudes who eat like elephants so no wonder I’m eating like an elephant! It"s so obvious once you think about it.
This is a hard pill to swallow (and I’m used to swallowing a lot of stuff) but the solution to my weight problem is now clear: If I hope to get back to 7200 pounds I will need to dump my enabling friends and get some new ones. Thin ones.
So don’t bother looking for me at the watering hole any longer. If you need me, I’ll be with the monkeys hanging out at one of the gazelle bars.
Anybody in the market for a slightly crushed treadmill and a pallet of Atkins bars?
Comments (3)
Titus, these humans at NEJM are the same bunch that said there was a “fat gene” that programed you to be fat. Now they are saying you are fat because you hang out with other fat animals. Could the truth be that you are an ELEPHANT and you are genetically predisposed to be HUGE. This is just the humans way of making excuses for other fat humans. Humans are fat because they put more food in their mouth than their bodies need. Don’t desert your family and friends because of this BS.
I agree with my friend Chubs; these “news” blurbs come out in the thousands every year, and each new one contradicts the one(s) that came before. What you’ve got is antagonistic research groups scrapping for their own moment in the sun, trying to justify the grant funding they’ve wasted by hogging the spotlight. Take it with a grain of salt, Titus (no, not from the salt cellar!)Besides, this new “discovery” can be just as well be explained by saying that similar body types seek each other out!
I agree with my friends Lucyy and Chubs. They’re pretty smart. I don’t read the New England Journal of Medicine. I tried it once, but the paper did not taste good. I found JAMA to be much tastier. Maybe if you try it, Titus, you might lose some weight.