An Open Letter To Rabbits Concerning Easter
Dear Rabbits,
Easter is just around the corner and that means you guys will soon be sneaking into the coop and stealing our eggs. Don’t. Okay? Just don’t.
We know it’s you. The same morning we wake up and discover our eggs are missing, lo and behold, you rabbits just happen to have baskets filled with eggs. It doesn’t take a mammal brain to put two and two together.
Let me get this on the table so there’s no confusion - we chickens, and I say this categorically, have nothing to do with cutting off your feet and making them into key chains. We wouldn’t do that. So don’t claim you’re just getting even. It’s false and you know it.
By the way, who came up with the idea of disguising our eggs by painting them different colors? Pure genius, I have to admit. Still doesn’t make it right. Eventually one of you will get sloppy, fall asleep in the hen house, leave a receipt for dye laying around… it’s only a matter of time before we have proof.
You’re not pulling anything over on anybody. You’ve been warned.
Comments (7)
Who cares about chickens and eggs. Easter is real scarey because some parents buy their whiney kids “bunnies” and then the bunnies grow up in 3 months. We are very aggressive if we aren’t neutered or spayed. We bite and scratch the children and then we end up on the street literally or in a tiny cage on death row. See http://www.makeminechocolate.org
I am no longer a rodent. I am now an “Other” like you. I’m not sure I want to be a lagomroph though. I don’t particulary like science fiction and that sounds very science fictiony. I’ll have to think about this.
Don’t worry, Marge ... we’ll just coat those bunnies in chocolate!
At least the rabbits are being blamed for this and not us cats, who are blamed for nearly everything else unjustly. I think you need to produce some evidence here. Has the rabbit been caught on camera? Are rabbit paws well adapted for painting eggs?These questions need careful consideration.
As a fully trained (at least in the litterbox) lawyer, I would be willing to represent Twister, Mr. Rabbit, and any other bunnies to stand up to these unjust claims. Rabbits stealing eggs? Surely not. Cuddles on the other hand…