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400 sheep killed in auto accident on the way to being slaughtered! It's a shame the last 3 hours of their lives were tragically cut short.

That huge particle-smashing machine broke. Told ya it would.

Green-haired polar bears? Rebellious youth! What's next, tattoos? Nipple rings?

Peta disrupts DKNY show!

Obama said McCain can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. Hey Barry, next time go with the rose cliche instead.

I'll tell you this - I'm not cold.

That "Bigfoot" suit was mine. PS, I'm still missing a hat.

Nasa says there's perchlorate in martian soil. Duh! I've been saying that for years.

Amnesty International says China is bad on human rights. Ya think?

Yoghund - yoghurt for dogs. That's what I'm talking about!

Before you sign any "Save This Starbucks" petitions, how 'bout signing a "Get Chester Out of The Zoo" petition? Just sayin'

Study says Atkins Diet best. YOU try to survive on 53,000 calories a day!

Video of monkeys kissing humans. Lucky humans!

Check out this video! Who said we lions are furious beasts?

Not that I'm a rail but these animals need to go on a diet!

Who says I'm bi-polar? I've only heard that joke like a crazillion times.

Amnesty Intl's report called for the closing down of Gitmo yet, again this year, failed to mention a single zoo. Typical.

Great, now global warming is my fault too.

Olaf, the polar bear at the Denver Zoo was euthanized 'cause he had liver cancer. Sad.

Wesley Snipes got 3 years behind bars for tax evasion. I know how he's gotta feel.

Hey Pope, while you're touring New York how about coming to the zoo and blessing us prisoners?

Monkeys are better than humans at math (see link.) Too bad we lack the language skills to get the word out.

My bile is worth money in Vietnam. For the record.

why do the humans vacuum up my mess in the lounge room when I quite like it? vacuum scares me

A rare Asiatic lion cub was born at a Japanese zoo. There's only about 300 of them left. I bet he would taste good.

We're supposed to turn off lights at 8pm Sat Mar 29 for EARTH HOUR to increase awareness of global warming. What human came up with that?

Jungles need Wi Fi. I had to walk almost 4 miles and hang outside a Starbucks near Nairobi just to get a signal to send this.

"Poach eggs, not tigers." Who wants a bumper sticker?

They missed the March 9th deadline to decide whether polar bears should be on the endangered species list. I say yes!

March 1st is National Pig Day. Who wants to hug a pig? The line starts here.

They reported that for the 1st time 1% of Americans are behind bars. Good.

Does Fidel resigning mean I'll finally be able to eat some real cuban cigars? Looking forward to it!

I was on LOST and it sucked. For one thing, it shoots in Hawaii. I'm a polar bear. Get it?

I think zoos are good. They're like assisted living facilities.

How are you being Green? I'm buying carbon credits to offset myself. Oops! There's another one. Excuse me.

What are some animal holidays?

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