TOPIC: discrimination
I'm thinking of suing this site for discrimination. It caters mostly to dogs and cats!
Comments (21)
Hey Ferrets, did you know a squirrel’s tail is his mood meter? Right now, mine is all puffed up and twitching like an out of control metronome.
I smell a faked out end run under the rug here. Oh sure, a dog, a female dog at that, is going to decide whether or not we squirrels get an area to hang out in. Sure, put it off on her. That way you are not responsible for any of the fallout. You can just claim your job was on the line and hide behind that.
I have connections, and they aren’t the kind you want to invite home to have dinner with the family. All I have to do is give the word and every bird feeder in the country will be raided on a daily basis until we get our own posting site. This will not be pleasant for those birds who depend on these feeders to feed their growing families. We have rabbit friends too, and you know how many children they can have.
I don’t want to resort to this because I am a civilized squirrel. I am educated and have an excellent career as a corn and peanut taster. I believe in negotiating for those principals that are important to us.
The neighborhood is watching and waiting regarding this decision.
Sir Nuts A Lot, I think you live in the wrong part of town!
We’ve got squirrels galore that come by every evening to eat from our outdoor feed dish, along with birds, possums, rats, raccoons, ants, beetles, and several at-large felines. Nobody bothers anybody else, and nobody seems scared of anybody else. (Of course, the smaller guys depart when the bigger ones come along just to be on the safe side.)
None of us harass squirrels, although we do get a kick out of throwing a few taunts your way! The problem is really that you guys are way down in the pecking order, and you resent it. I can understand that. I feel your pain.
I think the answer for you guys is not a special site, but Education. Sign up at your local college extension for some basic courses, including Evolution and Anthropology.
No need for insults Frankie, this is supposed to be a civilized site. I hate to tell you this but for every squirrel you see at the feeder, there are 7 or 8 hanging out in the trees. You definitely don’t want to see what a swarm of squirrels at a feeder will do.
You obviously didn’t read my previous post thoroughly. I am educated. I have a BG and an AO (Bachelors of Gustation & Associate in Olfaction) from the Umami Institute associated with the University of Wisconsin. We are the experts of taste and smell. You can’t used one receptor without the other.
My clients pay top currency rates for my expert opinions on food stuffs they are trying to pawn off on the public. I have amassed a small fortune that sits quietly in a Cayman bank account.
I offered to conduct a taste test for Casey, free of charge of course, on different colored kibbles which she’s doing a survey on, but haven’t heard back from her yet.
By the way Frankie, did you know that baby squirrels are called “kittens?” Maybe we are related !!!
Sir Nuts, sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner; but I’ve been resting up after some heavy engagements. Don’t ask what kind.
Say, Sir Nuts, I hear you’ve been having a dustup with my buds Alfie and Charlie- bad idea, Sir Nuts; these are serious guys who never forget a slight; and if you ruffle their feelings too much, they’ll make you pay. I’ve done time at the Big House, and even the cons there start shaking if you mention their names. If I were you , I’d try to smooth it over fast, or at least change the topic.
I am impressed with your advanced degrees and tasting skills, although I must say I’ve never heard of the Umami Institute. That’s a funny name for a school, sounds sort of African. I asked Elmer, who is from Africa, and he never heard of it. Elmer speaks twelve African dialects, and he says he does not know what “Umami” means. To me, it almost sounds like “you mommy”, but that can’t be- can it?
I wanted to go to get a degree, and I registered at the community college; but I had to drop out when the Suits caught up with me and sent me up the river back then. I was thinking of signing up at school again, but I don’t have the cash right now and I can’t get a student loan. I tried to borrow from the human, but he said no, it was a waste of money. He says it’s bad enough I don’t even pay for my own food and board. But I have just found a job that pays pretty good, as an Opinion Modification Assistant for a small Security Marketing firm that is selling Protection to local animal businessmen and women. All I have to do is persuade them to sign up for our service. It doesn’t sound too hard, and I’ll be able to save up a lot.
Frankie, I’m a live and let live kind of squirrel but I don’t like threats. Three things you don’t threaten around me, my family, my friends and me. Your buds Alfie and Charlie seem like grown ups to me, but they obviously never learned the lesson - “If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out.” They can point their little paws and claws at my friends and say mean things about them and I am not allowed to stick up for them? I don’t think so Frankie.
I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Sharlotta tells me the Constitution has this #1 amendment that protects anyone’s personal opinions, even if the opinion is not well received. I have the right to state what I believe, even if your “buds” don’t like it. I understand Charlie is supposed to be some kind of hot-shot lawyer. Does he think that he’s the only one that’s entitled to express personal opinions?
If you need cash, why don’t you hit up that little high and mighty dog who just inherited 12 million dollars? I understand Charlie is well off too, why not get him to fund your higher education dreams? You can always pay him back after you graduate.
Did you even attempt to look up the word Umami Frankie? It’s a Japanese word that refers to one of the five basic tastes sensed by the tongue. I’m a specialist in taste testing all kinds of nuts. I don’t even have to taste them - blind fold me and I can use my sense of smell to tell you which nut you have under my nose.
Did you tell me about this new job of yours - Opinion Modification Assistant” to scare me? You’ve done time in the “big house”, big deal, that just means you did something stupid to get caught. You don’t really think some cat with a dubious background is going to change my mind on anything do you? Hey, you are welcome to come visit any time Frankie, but you might just be a tad bit surprised at the kind of reception you’ll get around here. I’ll put your unsavory background up against Chub’s credentials and we’ll see just who is the toughest, most malicious feline on the block.
My money is on Chubs. He doesn’t like his friends threatened either.
Sir Nuts, why are you are flying off the handle with hyper-defensive histrionics? First off, I was just making conversation with you about my new job, because I am happy I got it, and I thought you might be too; not to “threaten” you. This way I can save up for my own education, and I won’t have to hit on Charlie for a loan. I don’t like the idea of borrowing from anyone. It was hard enough getting turned down by the college and our human; I don’t need anymore of that. Sorry if you think my background is “unsavory” without even knowing the details of how the Suits sent me up for something I didn’t do.
I don’t know what’s making you so angry and defensive, Sir Nuts A Lot; you seem too young to have had a lot of hard knocks in life. My family thinks that some of you guys are “...just angry at the world, and you overcompensate for feelings of inadequacy by overasserting yourselves… “ Those aren’t my words, they are Katie’s, but she is very wise and was trained in psychology, so I agree with her. Chubs might very well be the “toughest, most malicious feline on the block”, but Velvet keeps telling us what a mess he is, and it sounds to me like his belligerence might be the cause of it. What I think is that some of it has rubbed off on you and is making you nutsy. Maybe that’s why you are so good at smelling nuts. I think some of your new pals are a very bad influence on you. Speaking of nuts, Sharlotta sounds like one of those kooky womens-libber nutjobs who spend all their time ranting from soapboxes. She needs a hubby to settle her down and keep her pacified- typical hysterical female, I guess. What is she, a spinster?
As for me, no chance of my coming up there, so don’t worry. I could probably flick Chubs over the chimney with one flick of my tail, but I have no desire to, as I am a peaceful person. If you stay there yourself, **rots of ruck**.
As for Charlie and Al, you’d better hope and pray that THEY don’t come up there. They’re not as phlegmatic as I am about your bellicose bombast.
Okay, Frankie, maybe I jumped to a couple of conclusions that weren’t correct. What do you want - I’m a squirrel. We’re always jumping to something or on something.
Yeah, I agree about being beholden to someone for something you want. You seem like the kind of guy that when he wants something, he’ll work hard to get it. I’m sure if you apply yourself and maybe get in some overtime you’ll be able to finance your own education.
My parents were poor and didn’t have enough nuts saved to send me to college. I had to work nights and weekends to get what I wanted. I’m the first one in my family to get a higher education. I’m trying to put some away to help my nieces and nephews when it comes time for them to go to college. George is helping with the investing part.
We are not an “angry bunch that overcompensates for feeling of inadequacy.” It seems like we are always pressed to defend what we say and feel from your family. No matter what our opinion on something, someone in your family either feels offended or tells us we are crazy. I respect other’s opinions, I don’t have to agree with them but heck, if that’s what you believe, then you have the right to believe it - right or wrong. If Katie, who happens to be a fine looking squirrel gray feline, wants to believe that we all need psychological counseling - so be it. I don’t have the time to argue with her, nor do I feel the need to explain our relationship.
Your family has a tendency to see others that disagree with them as uneducated boobs. We are a tight-nit group of odd balls, I grant you that, but we are not unskillful, illiterate or bizarre. We consider ourselves as normal as you can be in a group as diverse as we are.
Because you don’t like that Sharlotta is an educated woman and not afraid to express her thoughts, you feel threatened and come up with all that macho feline garbage about her needing a man to teach her the ways of the world. Because she has opinions that differ from yours you call her hysterical. She has to be a “spinster” because no normal female who had a man would have thoughts like she has. You are calling me nutsy because you believe Chub’s “belligerence” is rubbing off on me. Do you see what I mean about us always having to defend ourselves?
I stand by my belief in Chubs. He is the kindest, most intelligent feral I have ever met. He takes you for what you are and has no expectations from you. He accepts your beliefs, even though he may not agree with them. BUT, don’t back him into a wall or appear to want to cause harm to those he’s protective of. I’m glad you are peaceful because you would not want to get on his “other” side. I’m happy you have the confidence to believe you could “flick him over the chimney with your tail” but I don’t suggest you put that to a test.
If Charlie and Alfred want to come up with Aston, Elmer and Ellen, we would welcome them and treat them as honored guests for as long as they are here. If they did come, they might actually change their minds about this “crazy, bellicose bunch of ruffians.”
Sir Nuts, I respect your desire to get a good education, and that you have overcome being raised poor. I’ve got to hand it to you for getting all your degrees, and landing a classy job. That takes some doing. That’s what I would like to do also. I want to become a Feline Logic Engineer, and get my Dr. of FLE Degree. That’s the thing of the future. One day, Feline Logic Power will power all the energy networks, all the spaceships, and all the needs of Animal Civilization. You watch and see. Maybe one day you can see me on CNN News.
Keep saving up and investing your nuts. That’s a very good trait. I can’t save much right now, and I am waiting for my first paycheck for my Opinion Modification Asst. job. So far it has been easy, not much to do. I am a little worried, though, because one of my new coworkers said that I was really hired to be an “enforcer”. That’s doesn’t sit well with me, and I hope it isn’t so. Time will tell, I guess.
How’s come none of your own squirrel buds have shown up except for Sputter? Can’t they read?
Frankie, I’ve wondered the same thing about my fellow squirrels. Maybe they don’t have access to the net. We’ve been harassed for thousands of years and it’s only lately some of us have decided we have a voice. I wouldn’t have had the nerve to express any opinion if it weren’t for Sharlotta and Chubs.
Some are probably afraid they will be made fun of by others if they contribute to a site like this. I know some of the squirrels in my trees won’t even talk to me anymore—they think I’ve become too snooty for them. I’m the only one in this whole neighborhood with an advanced degree, so I’m sure they think I’m to good for them. They don’t like it that I hang out with Sharlotta and Chub’s family. But my real friends still like me, that’s all that matters.
When you told me your job title, I thought you WERE an “enforcer.” That’s why I thought you were threatening me. After all, If you are “modifying opinions” you are changing other’s minds about what they think and believe. Usually, that’s done with verbal threats and sometimes physical persuasion is needed when verbal doesn’t work. I hope you don’t become an enforcer.
Good luck with your studies. I’m sure feline logic will play a role in our civilization’s future but don’t count out us squirrels as contributors too. My nieces and nephews are looking forward to their higher education and have some lofty goals in mind. Maybe a combination of feline and squirrel logic will be able to straighten out some of the things humans have made a mess of.
Sir Nuts, I’ve been so busy lately, working at my new job, I didn’t have time to reply until now. By the way, my employer told me not to worry, that I was not an “enforcer”, but an “opinion engineer”, and that after training was over in another week, I would be getting my “impllements of the trade”, but they wouldn’t tell me what these were. Guess I’ll find out.
I joined a family group called “The Feline Chorus” (AKA “The Boys’ Choir"), and we have been composing songs and practicing every day. We posted one of our songs under “Dating"- you ought to check it out, as it will crack you up. Alfie and Andy think we’re so good, we ought to get a promoter and go onstage. Say, maybe you might like to join us. Do you have a good voice?
The only problem we’re having is that we haven’t figured out a way to send the musical notes online to go along with the words. But Alfie, who is a real computer brain, is working on this.
Yes, Sir Nuts, although Feline Logic will move the world in the future, I’m sure there will be plenty of room for Squirrel Power, and Bird Power, and Hippo Power, etc., and all the other Powers that our wonderful animal people can contribute. Whatever we animals can do to save the world from the human mess will have to be in partnership with each other.
Frankie, you have to let me know just what these “implements of the trade” are when you are issued them. Have you gotten any hints in your classes as to just what it is you are going to be doing? Opinion engineer, you are engineering opinions? I hope I am wrong, but it still sounds like some kind of “enforcer” to me.
Thanks for asking me to join your Chorus but I have to decline. First it would not be very loyal to Sharlotta and Velvet to join “the enemy’s camp”, if you know what I mean. Second, I can’t sing a lick. I have this squeaky, treblely sound that comes out of my throat whenever I try. The other creatures throw things at me and tell me to shut up when I break out in song, which isn’t very often because I’m not into pain.
This thing with your brothers vs Velvet and Sharlotta is just hilarious. Whenever your brothers post something, Velvet and Sharlotta print it out and then put on a skit for all of us pantomiming your brothers. I tell you we all sit in the trees and on the fence waiting for the next post. They sit on this little table in the back yard and we all gather around and they read the post in different voices and use satire to mimic how they (the boys) would deliver this post in person.
I’m telling you, we all laugh so hard, I actually fell off the fence one day. One of the other squirrels peed on my head one time because he couldn’t control himself. That’s why I sit on the fence now and not in a tree. I wish I could video their little parodies for you to see because you of all of them, would see the humor in their presentations. Whenever Velvet mimics LittleGrayCat she deepens her voice, puffs out her chest, sticks her nose in the air and delivers his posting in this nasal-croaking voice while strutting around with a self important attitude. I thought I was going to get a hernia from laughing so hard.
Let me know what happens with your “schooling” on your new job. I’m very curious to know what it is you are really going to be doing.
Sir Nuts, Frankie quit his job. He is so angry he could spit. He says he was conned and deceived into thinking he had a respectable job, when all they really wanted was an enforcer. Seems like he reported to his training course a few days ago, only to be issued his “implements"- consisting of a .38, a crowbar, and a bread knife. He says you were right, and his is bitterly disappointed, and doesn’t feel like writing, so he asked me to do so for him.
He says another squirrel peeing on your head is very gross. We cats would never do a thing like that! Of course, it is OK to pee on bushes, or carpets, or in corners, because this shows some style. Yes, do get hold of a videocam, and send us some shots of that silly acting-out that your feline sisters do! We would love to see that, and it would give us in The Boys’ Choir some good ideas for our next ballad!
I hope you didn’t hurt your head when you fell out of the tree! I sure wouldn’t enjoy anything like that!
I would really love to see Velvet doing her parody of LittleGraycat. The way you describe it, it sounds like she’s ready for TV! I must tell you, he read your message, and all he had to say about Velvet was “Well, we know she’s a copycat, so I’m hardly surprised to see her imitating me! Some people like us lead, and some people just follow and copy!”
Sorry you aren’t interested in being one of the Boys’ Choir. If it was just your voice, you shouldn’t worry about that, we’d carry you as you got better through practice. But it’s up to you, and if you’d rather side with the silly girls---- well, that’s all she wrote!
Michael, thanks for the update on Frankie. Gee, I’m real sorry that job didn’t work out. He was so excited about it. I can understand how he would be disappointed about being lied to by them. I’m a little confused though - maybe it’s my squirrel brain. I understand the .38, even the crowbar but what was Frankie supposed to do with a bread knife?
Squirrel pee is not pleasant, not only is there a lot of it (you’d be surprised how much urine a squirrel bladder can hold) but the smell is really horrid. I wouldn’t recommend walking under a tree with a bunch of squirrels hanging out. I had to go wash my head in the bird bath and then got yelled at by Sharlotta because that was her drinking water. Luckily, there are several “ bird baths” around so no one suffered except me. Ever seen a wet squirrel? It’s worse than a wet cat !
I’m not siding with anyone in this “discussion” between Velvet, Sharlotta and the Boys Choir. I like sitting on the sidelines and just enjoying the fallout. I like living here and I really do like Sharlotta and Velvet. They treat my family and I well.
Tell Frankie I hope he finds another job soon. I’m sure he will as he seems to be an industrious fellow that doesn’t like sitting around and feeling sorry for himself. I’ll ask Chubs if he has any suggestions.
Sir Nuts A Lot, thank you for your concerns about my so-called “job” which turned out to be an “enforcer”, and which I quit in disgust. I don’t know what they expected me to do with the bread knife and I don’t much care, it’s pretty obvious from the .38 and the crowbar that came along with it. Stick people, that’s what.
I just wanted to let you know that Chubs came through with something for me; he hired me as a “delivery agent” on one of his supply routes. No doubt what I have to do here, it’s deliver stuff to nipsters. I’m not sure I like this job much better, but at least I’ll get paid, and I’m depending on income to save up for my education. I was surprised to see how many clients Chubs had even in my own neighborhood. It seems he’s been a busy guy since Aston started bringing it in for him!
I’ve had my own contact with squirrel pee, but I don’t think it smells worse than dog pee, possum pee, or racoon pee. We get tons of that stuff around our yard, because we feed lots of possums and raccoons every evening- not to mention the poop, although that doesn’t smell as bad. I was talking to a friendly raccoon lady the other evening, and she said our yard is famous among her friends as “Free Eats Alley”, and that some come from halfway across town to get some chow here. I was amazed, although I know they gobble up about a million pounds of food every night. This lady is a good friend of mine, comes by every night, and to tell you the truth, if she were a feline, I’d be very interested in her. I wonder if I ought to ask her for a date anyway. What do yo think?
Sharlotta shouldn’t drink her bath water, as it is dirty and unhealthy. Maybe you could explain this to her, but remember to speak slowly and carefully.
Hey Frankie, ask her out what can it hurt? After all, I dated Ellen once, she’s a cat, I’m a squirrel. We had fun, but I could tell when she saw Mr. Lucky that I wasn’t going to be #1 in her eyes. We are still friends though and hang out when she’s here. It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing but it would be nice to have a “special friend” to hang with. It sounds like you two got off to a good start. Personally, I relish inter-species friendships. They open up a whole new world I never thought about or knew existed.
Eventually, the humans are going to destroy this world and we are going to be the guardians - again. Fostering friendships with other species and earning their trust will go a long way to turning this old earth back into the paradise it once was.
I’m glad Chubs found you something. I know he pays well, so now you are one step closer to your goal. Working for him distributing his “mellow herb” as he calls it, should be fairly easy. You’ve got a list of steady customers. You don’t have to beat the bushes or hang out on unsafe street corners trying to sell it because the customers come to you. Besides, catnip is legal in this country. Most of your customers are from families who have cheap humans that won’t buy it for them, so they have to buy it from the neighborhood distributor. I find it astonishing that humans won’t give their felines a little pleasure nip once in a while, when most of them are probably on some mind numbing medication themselves.
I help him out occasionally, not with the distributing, but I’m sort of a look out. I let him know if any strangers come into the neighborhood and seem like they are sniffing around looking for stuff. We squirrels are pretty good at moving around on wires and in trees, and these dudes never look up to see me watching them. Besides, if they did, I’m just a squirrel hanging out and one squirrel looks like another, so they think they are looking at different ones every time they see me.
He treats his associates well. He’s a funny guy, he never calls them his “employees” because everyone is working toward the same goal - get the product to those that want it and make money. If he has a good month, you get a share of the extra income. This should help get money for your education. It’s a couple of hours every week which leaves you time to go to school part time.
Yeah, I know about the down side of the nip - the famous “Chuck” case that’s got Sharlotta feathers in a wad - but most felines handle it well and just want a little tranquility in their life. That’s where Chubs and his “associates” come in.
The up side of this business venture is all the different friendships that have been cultivated since Chubs started it. Think of all the different species we interact with to keep this production going. I say that’s a plus, plus, win, win, for the animal kingdom.
Hey Frankie, I’m coming to visit you all on Thursday. I will be hitching a ride with Michael when Aston picks him up. Wow, this will be my first time flying. I jump from tree to tree and glide around but actual flight - what a hoot that’s going to be. I didn’t check with you first to ask if it was okay to visit you. I just saw an opportunity and grabbed it. I hope I’m not interfering with any plans you had. I just figured it would be cool to finally meet you.
I hope you have time in your busy schedule to show me around and introduce me to some of your friends. Did you ever make a date with that female raccoon you told me about? Maybe I can meet her too when I am there.
I’m really looking forward to meeting your entire family. Ellen has told us all about your family members.
I understand you have some nice trees on your property. Do any of your squirrel friends have an extra branch for me to sleep on? I’ll be there for a couple of days and I don’t want to barge in and just assume a tree is unoccupied - that’s just so uncouth for a squirrel to do.
Hey, I know this topic was started 4 months ago, but I totally get what you mean. I have so far only found two or three other squirrels on this whole site. Don’t get me wrong, I like this site and I got nothing against other species(except maybe those that try to eat me), but it would be nice to meet some more members of my kind.
Hey Duke, welcome, finally another Sciuridae to grace these pages. Uh, hey Duke are you okay? You look like you are impaled on that fence. I hope you weren’t hurt. We squirrels are kind of rare on this site Duke.
I’ve made a bunch of new friends here and I’m sure you will too. Frankie, who looks like he could be a mean dude, is actually very intelligent and accepting of other species. In fact, his whole family is, but I met Frankie first so I consider him my best pal. He’s kind of busy now with his new job and saving for college, so we don’t keep in touch as much as I’d like. But I understand and even applaud his determination to forge a better life for himself.
My family has cats in it also. We are a very eclectic bunch.
I hope you stick around, it will be nice to have another squirrel’s view on this site. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one with common sense here. If you’ve got an opinion on something - just jump right in and voice it. Most are tolerant, there are few radicals but that’s all part of being a world citizen.
Hey Duke, do you know anything about water balloons? This is a great game that my pals the hawks and I invented. Let me know if you want in. It’s sooooo much fun. I can get another parachute for you. Let me know.
Mr. Duke, I’ve tried to warn Sir Nuts that he is into a very dangerous and deadly business with these water balloons, but as you can see, he just does not listen very well. He even tried to talk me into taking part in his escapades! His family’s business manager, Chubs, has already confiscated his first stash of balloons, but he tells us that he and the hawks are smuggling in new ones. Not very good! Right now, the authorities are looking for Sir Nuts and his hawks, thinking that they are terrorists!
Now this is not to say that Sir Nuts is not an otherwise delightful fellow, but I would NOT recommend that you get involved in these water balloon raids. A random water balloon detonation could wipe out a town and kill thousands of humans and animals!
Duke, my man, don’t listen to Lucyy. She’s a sweet kid, one note shy of full tune, but loads of fun. She takes everything too seriously. She’s got this crazy idea about Heavy water and nuclear fission and water balloons exploding and vaporizing entire communities or making you head implode when it breaks.
The daily grind of life is boring so I try to spice it up a bit. Inventing new games and trying them out is something I do to release the stress of day to day worries. Since I hooked up with the hawks I’m having a ball or a balloon if you will.
You would like these hawks, they have one wicked sense of humor. They are smart to, they invent their own games and sometimes I get to go with them. Squirrels don’t weigh much so they can carry us anywhere. I always wear my parachute, helmet and goggles in case they flip instead of dip and I lose my grip. They usually let me know when they’re gonna flip but sometimes they do it just to see if I’m hanging on. You gotta wear goggles because they fly real fast and your eyes dry out and your eye lids tend to stick to your forehead.
They have this new game of “chicken” where they fly at each other, lock talons, and spin in the air. The first one to let go before crashing into the ground is the loser. Wooooeeeeeee, what a ride that was!!! I lost my lunch shortly thereafter but what a hoot to watch the ground spinning, and getting closer and closer and wondering who was going to let go first and when. I held on real tight because as fast as they were spinning, if I had let go, I would have wound up in the next county.
I’ve tried to get Lucyy to come along and run the video so we can post it on You Tube and become famous but for some reason she doesn’t want to. How about it buddy, want to go for a ride and take some pictures? We can switch off and I’ll film you. We’ll be the most famous squirrels in the world.
Pipe down, children.
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