TOPIC: Fame is not for the Weak
Its not easy being in such hot demand. The photo shoot was exhausting, then answering fan mail?!? When is a pooch going to get her beauty sleep?
http://www.cupofdog.com/2008/06/17/if-you-are-what-you-say-you-area-superstar/
Comments (23)
You’re already a beautiful girl, Ella Bean, and don’t need any beauty sleep! Oh, listen to me, I’ve never said anything like that to a dog before!
Melvin, You are the most handsome cat I have ever seen and in my nine months on planet earth, I have NEVER said that to a cat before!
Dogs, they are so impressed with themselves - geesh !!!!
Chubs, I think I’m in love! But I’m too young----- how would I know?
Melvin, don’t fall for the first pretty face you see. It’s probably lust and not love. Have you had your eyes checked lately???
I am only 9 months - Melvin, I feel it too!
Chubs, you sound jealous.
Ella Bean, I wrote you a love poem, but I was too embarrassed to post it here, so I put it on your other opinion place. Oh gee, now my heart is pumping and my face is turning all red. Oh, gee..........
Don’t be embarrassed! I loved your poem. I feel I should tell you that I am seeing a Cocker Spaniel from Chicago. Its a long distance relationship, so we aren’t exclusive.
Ella Bean, I am jealous! I don’t want to share you with some old Cocker Spaniel who doesn’t even have pretty whiskers like I do! I am also 9 months old, and we are just perfect for each other!
You do have the most gorgeous whiskers. Oh Melvin, whatever we feel for one another and no matter how strong our emotions, you are a cat and I am a dog. I don’t see how we could reconcile our differences…
I can’t join you up high on a Cat Tree and I enjoy long walks outdoors on my leash.
Can we be friends? I need to stay focused on my career - I have to think of the future. What would the tabloids say if they knew Ella Bean was in love with Melvin - a cat?
Love conquers all, Ella Bean!
Remember what Obama says- “Yes we can! Yes we can!”
For you, I will give up climbing Cat Trees! I will carry your leash forever!
Your career will be my career! Your future will be my future!
Who cares what the tabloids say? They would say the same thing if they knew that Melvin was in love with- a dog! It’s nothing but racism!
Is it just that I am not famous enough for you, Ella Bean? Is that it?
NO! Of course not! I can’t believe you think I would be that shallow...I am just trying to be practical, but I am so overwhelmed by your feline-ness - I keep imagining what our children could look like...Melvin, I think I am in puppy love with you!
Ella Bean, I don’t know much about children, do you? I don’t even know where they come from. My older sister Lucyy, who is a very famous scientist, says “there is a finneye- woops, finite chance of successful highb-- er, hybrid progeneration”, whatever that means! My family is trying to talk me out of my love for you, but I won’t listen. We must be brave, as they’ll all be against us! I am in cat love with you!
Well, this is getting more sickening by the minute. All that drool all over the place it’s unsanitary!!
Melvin, get a hold of yourself boy!!! You didn’t lick one of those poisonous frogs in the yard did you??
Oh Melvin! I am so happy to know that you are going to be brave with me! Chubs is clearly just jealous. I guess we can put puppies/kittens (pupkens?) on the back-burner for now while the highbird thingy gets worked out. My family doesn’t understand either, but I think they will all come around once they sense our happiness…
Melvin, I also need to be honest. I cannot end things with my Spaniel gentleman caller. He stayed with me through the mangling of my tummy and stealing of my teeth (see my previous post)...Its not fair to him. However, there is more then enough love in my heart for you both. I may be small, but I have the passion of an elephant -er, some giant animal…
Chubs, I did not lick any frogs. I know you’re much older than me, but you’re being mean. Weren’t you ever in love?
I just love “pupkens”! (But why would you want to put them on the burner? They’ll get hurt!) I would just love to have lots and lots of pupkens with you, but I don’t know how! Do you?
Oh Ella Bean, I know you mean well, and you may have enough love for both of us, but I can’t bear to think of you in another man’s paws! And a man who has big floppy ears, and he’s old, and he has no beautiful whiskers like me! Is he willing to share you? What sort of man is that?
Oh gosh oh gee oh wow, what are we going to do, Ella Bean, what are we going to do?
Ella Bean, you’re not too young to know the truth- you can’t trust men. When I was a younger girl, I surrendered my virtue to a handsome young cat, whom I will just refer to as Mr. L.; only to suffer the humiliation of being discarded and betrayed. That’s the way it is with men; they promise you everything and give you only treachery. Take my advice, Ella Bean, and don’t give your heart away!
Ellen,
Thanks for the advice - in spite of my feelings, Melvin knows I have reservations...What is the ‘virtue’ that you gave away? Do I have it? How do I keep it?
Oh my Bast, Ellen—I did not do that. Don’t you try to blame that on me. If you lost your virtue it was to that dude you were hanging with on the next street when you would sneak out at night after everyone was asleep. Don’t you try to get me in trouble with all your brothers. I did not, I did not !!!! I swear - I thought about it --- A LOT—but I didn’t!!!
There, Ella Bean, you see? I did not want to name names- but here comes Mr. L., full of lies and denials- a typical man. A man will take advantage of you, rob you of your Virtue, leave you in the lurch, and then deny responsibility! They’re all alike!
“Virtue”, Ella Bean, is something you have until a man steals it from you. You’re too young to really understand. You should ask a responsible adult in your family to explain more. My advice again is- don’t give your heart away! Protect your Virtue!
You know what, Ellen, you are right. I am young, pretty and on my way to being famous. I need to focus on those things - and focus on not letting the virtue get stolen by some male thief. I asked my big brother what virtue is and if he had ever stolen a girl’s virtue. He didn’t know what this “virtue” is or if he had stolen any. I asked my mom and she said its what married doggies give one another a big special hug. Still don’t know what virtue is, but at least I know even if I am in love - no hugging until I am married.
No, no, Ella Bean, I’m not a mail thief! I never steal mail! I won’t steal your Virtue either, I promise! See, your Mom explained to you that only married doggies can lose Virtue when they have that special hug- but I am a cat, so it couldn’t happen for us! We can hug! I am in cat love with you, Ella Bean! You are not just pretty, you are beautiful! I want to get married to you and have lots of pupkens!
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